Onsite, on a non-contract call

Me: What seems to be the issue?

Customer: The computer isn’t adding the printer and I can’t access the Internet.

Me: When did this start?

Customer: Well, I just got the printer, but the Internet has always worked until I plugged the printer in.

I examine the ports on the back of the system.

Me: Oh. Um. Your ethernet cord isn’t plugged in … because you put the printer’s USB plug into the computer’s ethernet port.

Customer: Yeah, it’s a network printer, right?

Inside the office, after I sent everyone else home on a slow day

Customer enters wearing boardshorts, stumbling slightly.

Me: Hi! What can I do for you?

Customer: Are you guys open?

Me: Um, yep, we don’t close for about twenty more minutes.

Customer: Oh. Oh sweet. I need something.

Me: Anything specific?

Customer: Um. Sound.

Me: Sound? Like, a PCI sound card?

Customer: No, no. Like, what sound comes out of. What are they called?

Me: Speakers?

Customer nods and pinches fingers together.

Customer: But smaller!

Me: Oh, um, earbuds?

Customer: YES!

Me: Oh, no, we don’t stock those unfortunately. There’s a RadioShack down the street?

Customer: They wouldn’t take my money.

Me: Oh, why is that?

Customer: Well, it’s Canadian.

Me: … oh. That’s unfortunate.

Customer giggles.

Customer: I’m stoned. I should probably go.

Me: Probably.

On a Saturday morning, when we are normally closed. I opened the office for a few hours so I could finish a project for a client. Customer enters slowly. Names have been changed.

Customer: Hi. Um, do you know Cody?

Me: I know a few Cody’s?

Customer: He’s about your height.

Me: Gonna need a little more information, what this about?

Customer: Well he just hasn’t been home in a long time, I just wondered if he’s okay.

Me: If he’s missing, this is probably more a matter for like, the police?

Customer: Oh, no, I know where he is. He left the house. My daughter did too, she went to the University of Hawaii. They teach communism down there, you know. Karl Marx and all that stuff.

Me: Oh… I see.

Customer: Yeah… it’s sickening, really. Socialism is destroying everything. Did you hear they’re trying to make the government pay for Medicare?

Me: … I should probably get back to work.

On-site at a new client after-hours, doing a network survey for an office having connectivity issues. I had the client take me to the wiring closet. Patch cables were stripped two inches past the RJ-45 jacks, some had broken retention clips.

Me: Oh, gosh. This is a mess.

Customer: What’s wrong?

Me: The way the patch cables are terminated, you’ll have so much interference going on. Connectivity drops and packet loss are common when cables so close together are completely unshielded. We’ll need to re-terminate most of these and completely rerun the lines that don’t have enough extra coiled up.

Customer: No, that can’t be it. My husband and son wired this. He’s built a plane before. He’s a doctor. Pretty sure he can handle some wires.

Me: With all due respect, ma’am, I wouldn’t let a rocket scientist wire my network. It has nothing to do with intelligence. Plenty of people are completely capable of learning how to change oil in an automobile, but you still take your car to a mechanic.

Customer: It’s not the wires.

Me: I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. If you won’t let us rewire it, the issue probably won’t get resolved.

Customer: You guys are worthless, I want to terminate my contract.

Me: Gladly. You can even have a refund for the contract.

Customer: Really?

Me: Yep. Now, since this is no longer contracted work, and it’s after 8pm, the hour for the survey will be $250. We’ll bill you. Have a nice evening.

Check back next week for Ridiculous Moments in Tech, v2.

Now, about this adventure. Between programming, writing, studying, and killing zombies, I spend a rather exorbitant amount of time at or around my desk. A few months ago, I decided that I needed to upgrade my workspace.  The first order of business was replacing my $29.99 cloth task chair that I nabbed from Walmart two years ago out of desperation, as I had no spare computer chair at the time, nor the funds necessary to purchase one of acceptable quality. While I definitely got my money’s worth, my ass would inevitably veto any task which would require an uninterrupted period of work lasting longer than a couple of hours.

So, being the miser I am when it comes to buying anything practical when there are unnecessary gadgets and toys to be had, I began to bargain hunt for a nice, new chair.  Fortunately I came across quite a deal a few weeks back, and I was able to convince myself that paying $50 for a regularly-priced $200 chair was reason enough to open my pocket book. So, one comfortable, supportive, leather task chair later, I was a happy man. However, while the chair was a nice upgrade, it did not resolve the original problem: lack of desk space.

Again, I began to bargain hunt. I quickly realized that one pays a fairly hefty premium for a sizable desk of acceptable quality when one is not within reasonable driving distance of an Ikea store. So, rather than a) bash my head into a wall hoping for a miraculous deal or, b) bite the bullet and pay the price premium, I did what any responsible, self-sufficient individual would do: I asked my daddy for help.

My dad and I talked at length about my predicament, and we both agreed a DIY solution would be the most cost-effective as well as customizable solution. Together, we created a rough sketch of what I wanted and then took to getting into specifics and designing the entire thing. My favorite addendum (which you will see below) was utilizing a night stand I had made at a very young age for support at the far end rather than constructing something of similar size. Less work for me and I get to cherish those fond childhood memories of bashing my thumb with a hammer!

Despite breaking a fever the night before, we began building the basic framework for the desk, making sure it was as stable as we envisioned it would be, and leveling the frame as best we could so adding the desktop we will attach would be that much easier. I snapped a couple of pictures from my Droid X today, so forgive the quality, but it should provide an adequate idea of the basic structure. So, without further ado:

I will add more pictures as the build progresses as well as an explanation for design choices and construction techniques, as I’m sure the more astute DIY’ers might be scratching their heads at a few of our choices. I will explain at excruciating lengths in a later chapter of this great saga.

Suck it, Stephenie Meyer.

Edit: I apologize in advance (or, perhaps more accurately, in retrospect) for exposing you to the gaudy carpet in my basement. Our original intent for this room was to be a den/gameroom and given its occupants would, for the most part, consist of teenage guys or burly men drinking and shooting pool, style was not really on our radar while decorating. Cheap and easy to clean, you bet!

Earlier this year, a teacher of mine threw around the idea of playing a bit with the iPhone SDK; we would potentially spend some class time working on learning the language and eventually building Apps. It was something that interested me, but with everything I had going on at the time, I didn’t devote enough energy into seeing it through. As a result, obviously nothing came to fruition.

A semester later, Apple’s much anticipated tablet was released and with it came a new market for programming in the iPhone OS. Another technology teacher introduced us to a grant that would provide the funding necessary to get a set of iPads as well as a developer account and the tools we would need to bring them all together. Although my workload had not changed, my interest was peaked enough to give it some serious thought.

I definitely wanted to do it, but I was not convinced I would be able to devote the time necessary to such an undertaking. While I can put my projects on the backburner when time and I are not allies, it is another story entirely when playing on someone else’s dime and, consequently, expectations. While discussing my predicament with my boss, he put forward an idea that would add another level of initiative to the entire thing. Our technology firm has a standing web design department (primarily for local businesses), but he presented the possibility of adding a development layer to our small firm. While we would likely branch out to other areas eventually, we both agreed that SDK work would likely be a good place to begin and would work well with my participation in the grant.

To fast forward a little, I decided to participate in the grant (which will, for the most part, begin next year) as well as shift part of my focus at work from technician to developer. I am still in the very early stages of it all. While I have played with the SDK in the past and know the basic syntax, I still have a lot to learn in the way of the actual language. I am researching a few books that I would like to order to help in this quest of knowledge. Soon I will start going through a course offered online through iTunes U by Stanford Engineering Everywhere which is essentially presented as an introduction to iPhone programming. This will likely extend from the rest of the school year into much of the summer. I will be taking a break in June due to various commitments I already have made (a leadership conference, college visits, etc.) but ideally I would like to be ready to start semi-serious development before my senior year begins.

As for what I will be doing for the project during the next school year, it fully depends on how fast I progress. As I said, I would like to spend the majority of it refining my skills and doing semi-serious development. Educational tools for school and to keep up with my responsibilities to the grant will be my initial area of focus. For work, I plan on creating a mobile interface for the help desk ticketing system we use as a way to teach myself the basics. Plans may change, but I am excited for what I have planned thus far.

My process needs to be documented so I will apologize in advance in case this blog becomes monopolized by the project. Perhaps it will be an incentive for my lazy butt to write about other things as well. As for the quote:

“A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.”

IEEE Grid

I had a regular hair cut scheduled for 7:00pm this evening, an hour after I got off work. When 6 o’clock rolled around, I left the office and started to do some errands to kill time before my appointment. I put gas in my car, I dropped a few things off at my brother’s apartment, and I followed up on a few phone calls I needed to return from throughout the day. Before my appointment, I decided I would pick up a sub at Subway for dinner so I wouldn’t have to make myself anything when I got home. Upon reflection, this was an extremely wise decision.

I made a few more phone calls and then headed to the place where I get my hair cut. I park across the street from the shop and get out of my car. As I begin to cross the street, I see a shadow moving out of the corner of my eye. Much to my surprise, there was a duck just standing in the middle of the road, staring at me. Now, this is odd in and of itself. Although Nebraska is fairly rural, we still do not have ducks wandering around in the middle of the city (especially in February). I shrugged it off as an odd occurrence, gave the duck one last glance, and began to walk towards the door of the shop.

The moment I turn and make my first footstep, however, the duck goes insane! He flapped his wings and ran at me, quacking all the way. I had assumed it was being defensive, and sought to attack or scare me away. This was not the case at all, however. He stopped about a foot away from me as soon as I turned to him, and just looked me in the eyes once more. I was flabbergasted! What on earth could this duck want of me? My first thought was, “Oh, he probably smells the Subway on me and is hungry!” So I walk over to my car, unlock the door, and tear him off some bread from what was leftover from the sandwich I had bought earlier. I threw the piece of bread down to him and he instantly devoured it; ten seconds flat and the entire chunk was gone. Assuming that was that, I smiled at my new duck companion and began to walk towards the door again.

I instantly learned that although he seemed to enjoy the bread, that was not his purpose here. He again became almost enraged as I walked away, and began to flap his wings as he ran at me, quacking even louder now! I truly did not know what to do! It was clear he didn’t want to hurt me, but he obviously wanted something. We both stood there and looked at each other. As if to understand my utter confusion, he cautiously took a few steps towards my car. As he began to crane his neck downward, I began to grasp what was going on.

From where I was standing, I could make out a faint glow shining towards the underside of my car’s floorboards. Perplexed by the source of light, I began to walk towards my car and my eyes began to recognize a familiar sight: my cell phone had apparently fallen out of my car when I got out. It was unfolded and someone had sent me a text message, causing the screen to turn on. This duck not only knew that it had happened, he was able to communicate the fact with me!

I was literally in shock and awe for the next thirty minutes as I had my hair cut. The people in the salon repeatedly asked me if I was okay because I was so silent from the shock of what had just happened to me. As she finished my hair cut and I managed to pay her and thank her through grunts, an idea came to mind: this duck saved me quite the headache, I at least owe it more food and if it will let me, I’d take it home! Excited, I walk out of the store, praying to see the duck waiting for me. Unfortunately, the little guy was no where to be found. I looked around for ten minutes and got in my car and drove around the block for another fifteen. Alas, my guardian duck had vanished.

Now immediately I know what some of you are thinking. “Whoah, wait!” you may explaim in sheer disbelief. “Trials? Life? Law? Future? Did he just use a pun in the title of a blog post?” You’re damn right I did! Now, back on topic. Throughout the past few months I have been devoting a certain percentage of my time to an extracurricular sponsored by the Nebraska State Bar Foundation. Schools from across the state compete in what has been labeled as mock trial. Up until this fall when I once again began to participate in mock trial, I had myself convinced that I was going to pursue a degree in technology such as computer science or more specific, network-related majors offered by a select few colleges (namely Purdue).

My recent work in preparing for competitions has refueled the inner debate between life routes. I understand that the two, technology and law, are not mutually exclusive. Ironically enough, however, I have no interest at all in pursuing a career in copyright law or researching the constitutionality of net neutrality or anything such as that. I have interest in litigation and doing research for the purpose of litigation. On the flip side, I’m not sure how cost-effective it would be to pursue a career in information technology after attending law school. The job market of the I.T. field is also worrisome. I read every day on forums I browse about how someone, despite extensive qualifications, is having trouble landing even an entry-level position. Alternatively, there is a supposed relative shortage of lawyers due to the economy turning law school tuition payments from difficult to impossible. All in all, there is a lot to consider.

Essentially this diatribe is just my way of whining about how I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I had this moment where I thought I was so far ahead of the game – I had my priorities set and I wasn’t backing down… and then I did. We’ll see how things turn out, I guess. A quote to leave you with:

“The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.”

- Abraham Lincoln

Until I do begin work on a theme, this blog will utilize a truly beautiful design by name of Hemingway. Hemingway is a very minimalist public theme for WordPress which was created and (until recently) updated by Kyle Neath. Although he claims to no longer release “versions” per se, the download link offered here is compatible with the latest version of WordPress, 2.8.4, as of the date this post was published.

I will take a note from past promises broken and make no commitment regarding posting activity. I will add to the collection when I have something interesting to report. I will say, however, that I have quite a few more items of interest than I did during previous iterations of this website. I have begun the treacherous hunt for the perfect university, I am exploring new areas of programming, I have made a point of keeping myself politically informed (I happen to be doing a research project in this area at moment), and (as always) I am overly critical of everything I read, see, or participate in!

It is currently around 2am on a cold Saturday morning. Later today, after a good night’s rest, I plan to spend a rare day at home as to not fall behind in my studies. With said work ahead of me, I leave you with this quote:

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

-Albert Einstein